18 February 2008

Tactful Ways To Tell Your Friend About Those Personal Odour Problems

I often think, as I stand in the queue at Marks And Spencer, that such forthright comments might be the way to convince the unwashed creature ahead of me in the queue to put back the individual Melton Mowbray pork pies (hand-raised with crisp pastry crust) and replace them with a can of lily-scented deodorant, doing both their waistline and their armpits a favour, not to mention everyone else's nostrils. Then again, it's probably nothing more than a surefire way to acquire a bunch of fives. Individual pork pies it is...

10 February 2008

Where is the heart?

The joy of assessment, as you find out that young Susan has indeed completely failed to grasp any aspect of what you've spent the last half-term explaining to her. And while the majority of the answers on this page are delightfully incorrect, the second answer shows an insightful mastery of elementary biology. Tits. Not boobs, please note; that would be vulgar.