30 October 2009

Guest Post: The Slightly-Psychotic Jonathan Taylor-Thomas Fan Club Diary

Is it real or is it made up? Who can say. I forget where I came across
this; it was just a general google image search for diaries some time

"Dear Diray, I like lots of guys but Jonathan Taylor Thomas is the
cutetest. First of all I don't like J.T.T. cause he's a movie star.
There are lots other guys in my class who like me, and there are lots
of people I wish I coulb kill, but I'm not."

A slightly disturbing initial entry, there. I like to imagine the
writer in an Annie-from-Misery-like state of depression by the time we
get to the 19th of November:

"Dear Diray, Today is not so good. I haven't done much. The only
thing that will cheer me up is to meet Jonathan Taylor Thomas. His
birthday is september 8."

Let's see... 1995. By my reckoning, young JTT had finished the voice
of Simba in the Lion King and was on to high profile movie star roles
like Tom Sawyer or that kid out of Ally McBeal. You can understand the
endless attraction...

18 October 2009


'Surprised at the reference to homework being done 'invariably'. We do it each and every week.'

Splendid stuff...

3 October 2009

The Sandwich Of Inappropriacy (Which Will Undoubtedly Leave A Bad Taste In Anyone's Mouth)

This one's from 2007 and the god-forsaken hunk of mauled cheap white actually had tuna wedged inbetween its dry and curling flaps.

Look - I can explain this. She's trying to spell 'tuna' with a 'ch' sound at the start, but can't spell 'ch', which is why it comes out as 'coon'. Say 'ch' instead of 'c' and 'nuh' instead of 'n', and you get ch-oo-nuh, which spells tuna. With that in mind, you might well be heartened to know that we finally had her dyslexia properly diagnosed only a few years later.

Yes, years. Unless you work in education, you may well be surprised how long it takes for some of these kids to get the help they need, despite the best efforts of their educators.

Apologies; I've accidentally gone all serious. Let's all giggle at the word 'cuntas' instead. Heh... it starts with... 'c'. Oh, and 'unt', too.