Goalkeeping Ninja

Assignment: pictures on the theme of sharing. Result: 'It's nice to share your football with a ninja'. Hmm.

More Love: It's The Season For It

There must be something in the water. If there isn't, I think I'm going to suggest some sort of compulsory anaphrodisiac; perhaps bromide or potassium nitrate. Either that or we could just have 'em all castrated - it works with pigs.

A Letter Of Apology

Point well and truly missed, I feel...

A Love Affair (Part 5 of 5: The Evitable Backlash; a sad conclusion)

A Love Affair (Part 4 of 5: A Hastily Re-thought Uncertainty Causes Consternation)

A Love Affair (Part 3 of 5: The Quickening, Stirred By H's Favourable Response)

A Love Affair (Part 2 of 5: The Mysterious H Responds In Kind)

A Love Affair (Part 1 of 5: A Declaration To The Mysterious H)

I'm often alarmed by the sheer quantities of notes I receive* that contain impassioned outpourings of love, as I'm entirely unable to reconcile it with their behaviour in the classroom or at break time. I look round, expecting to see an almost Donovan-esque quality to their dealings with each other, and instead there they are forming two unevenly-matched sides and thrusting great handfuls of freshly-cut grass down their opponents lovely red sweatshirts.

But enough gentle reminiscing: these next five notes form an amusing (but ultimately tragic) tale of a cautionary nature. (Not necessarily a bad thing: perhaps it'll help cut teenage pregnancy in the local bus shelters.)

* remove

Monkey Girl Pig

A Quandary

A note for younger readers: this uncertainty will not pass with age. (That could be today's top tip - it may be slightly tainted with middle-aged bitterness, but in a wholesome, fun sort of way.)

Fincing About Yoo